Charm Wrestle

So, I was in the lobby waiting for my bi-weekly dose of therapy. It's funny, I spend an hour every two weeks talking about my lovely ex-wife and she spends an hour every two weeks talking about herself. There is something there in between the lines. Also, I think she may be the only person reading this. Not the man of mystery that I never was. I digress. I was sitting in the lobby reading American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. It must have looked like a manual in that environment. It felt awkward.

So, last night I had an idea. After softball, I would go have a beer and then go home and watch Lost. I had told the owner of the bar I would come back and we could strategize about his Wednesday and Thursday nights without going to the karaoke step. Well, we ended up hanging out for a while and I realized I was at the cab step. So, then these nerds in their Palo AltFits (blue/black pants and white or blue button up shirt) challenged me to arm wrestle for shots. So I did. I wasn't into it so I ended up having to buy one of the guys a shot. Then, they decided they should take me to another bar and I went with them. At the next bar, I bee-lined over to the bar to order a beer and started cracking up these two girls by bragging about my credit cards as a joke. I was pulling out my Safeway Club Card like I was going to pay with it. They cared for it and started asking me questions off of their Laffy Taffy wrappers like they weren't jokes, but actual questions. "Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend." I was berated for not knowing the answer to that. So, we start bagging on all the guys that I walked in with and calling every one of them Patrick Bateman and stuff when they would come over. We had decided that one of them was crazy and trying to figure out which one it was. Then some Lithuanian who was honestly like six feet ten walked up to one of the girls and asked her what he would have to do to get her to make sex to him. He was awesome. Good times. I think I have one of their numbers and it turns out it is real and it's from Ohio. That was fucking Wednesday. In retrospect, horrible decision, but who says fun can only be had on a Friday or Saturday.