Aluminum Foil Hat Theory #1

First, everyone is talking to themselves at work today. It's a little unsettling and weird.

Second, I have not slept through the night in a while now and wake up super sweaty every night and cold. I'm calling out a Whitley Strieber played by Walkenesque abduction by aliens a la Communion. Super weird dreams, too. This is the part where I wake up tomorrow and refuse to leave my room as I metamorphasize into a giant silverfish.

Third, conspiracy theory #1: The reason that there is always a line in the In N Out Burger drive-thru is because they pay people to sit in line all day to make it look like they are always busy. It's a pretty basic concept that can be seen all over metropolitan areas in the form of the velvet rope. In order to get busy you need to be busy. Nobody wants to go somewhere where nobody else goes anymore. Look what happened to Arby's. So, to the haters who don't believe this to be true, go ahead and sit out there one day and mark down license plate numbers, but I'll let you know ahead of time, that sometimes the drive-thru line new cars are brought in by corporate.

Finally, for the single man's fortress of solitude, a tv that can be tuned in to someone's prescription makes a ton of sense. Yes, when other people came over to visit, it may be polite to dial it in to their prescription, but a prescription tv would be awesome for the individual when watching the shows that he watches when no one else is around.