Please Take Note

There is a person in our office at work that goes around putting notes on everything. It's totally passive aggressive. So, today, I snuck around the office and took pictures of a bunch of them with my phone. It was totally covert, so they are blurry as fuck and some are unreadable. I'll have to bring my real camera in and officially document them, but for now, here they are in no particular order.

Finance Group
This is a sign on a mouse pad that is next to the printer. It's being offered to staff to take it for a test drive.



















Stop!!
This is to encourage recycling in the office. Save the world one recyclable at a time. As a side note, somebody let him know that disposable creamer cups were recyclable and people are throwing them in the garbage. The person said this to him right in front of me to stir the pot. It's not that I'm against recycling, however I'm a staunch advocan't of being stupid.
















Hi All
This note is the second most recent. It appeared above the sink in the breakroom a week or two ago. It has become the template. The same font and font size is being used as a standard on all notes now, I've noticed. It's a good font. It sends a serious message without the distraction of flair. I'm thinking about editing all the notes and throwing some clip art on them and then replacing them all on a Saturday when no one is here. I'm kind of suspect zero, though, when it comes to office shenaniganery. This note has also been graffitoed or edited in the last 14 days. I think it says "or on the side." So, it's concensually okay to soak items outside of the sink.











PLEASE DO NOT
WOW! All caps and no punctuation. This note is full of metaphors and has to be read into. There is a lot going on between the lines here. It sits on our giant 1950s shredder. Dude, it's the fucking Mangler from Stephen King's book. It's gotta be violating OSHA in about a hundred ways. Anyways, no punctuation says to me that this note is not fuckin' around and throwing cordiality and grammar out the window. The fact that it's all in CAPS is shouting at you. This is seriously the equivalent of jumping in front of a bullet that's going to hit the President while you are dressed up in clown underwear. You don't have time to put on a nice pair of slacks and follow protocol when a bullet is about to strike the President. That's what this note says to me.










Shredder Note Addendum
This is the second note on the shredder. It points out that for Arthur Andersen amounts of shredding we have a confidential document bin available. The CDB is a locked dumpster in the parking lot. I've been to it. It's covered in rust and is full of important confidentialia. Oops. I need to edit that full name out of there. That's just not fair. Anyway, if requested, information is available as to location and how to access the CDB.
















Hi There
This is actually not even located on our department floor and is downstairs from my office. I saw it on the way to the bathroom the other day and would know that font and font size anywhere. Plus, it's an obvious variation of the "Hi All" note that was previously mentioned. There is a small table next to the stairs that is apparently our media area. I had no idea we had one. It houses a bunch of old newspapers and department directories, but by no means should have packages left on it. Good to know I guess. Oh, that's "in or out-bound." That's a little fucked up. You'd think that in bound packages would be allowed. That's like note-lawing Christmas...I mean the Holidays.










The Microwave Note
I know. It's unreadable and out of focus, but it's just proof. This is one of the original notes that lets people know to cover their food when they microwave and also to close the breakroom door so that no one has to smell their food around lunchtime. It was put up shortly after the Lunch Aroma Revolt of 2004. Much blood was shed over the outrage caused over that incident. Brothers fighting brothers and cats attacking their cat ladies. It was awful. Bullshit. The only person in the office that has a problem with it is the person that put up the note.