You're Doing It TRONg

The other night I was out. Spoiler alert: I fell down stairs and hit my head. That's how it ended. I'll tell this story like that show The Event and just take a timeline, cut it up, throw it in a hat, and then tape it back together. Actually, that was Interzone, by William S. Burroughs. Dude, Robocop was in the movie adaptation of that book. God, Robocop was a good movie. For your information, Robocop and Starship Troopers are unsung cinematic masterpieces.

So, anyway, I'm playing shuffleboard with this dude and his friend and a girl that we'll call "random chick who has no idea what she is doing." I'm talking to dude's friend and he starts talking about his very very detailed camping plans for getting in line for the TRON premiere. Seriously. A month out, this guy is planning his...plan?

So, he had a tent planned, some lawn chairs, games to keep him busy, a bathroom plan and he kept going on and on and I was hanging on every word that came out of his mouth. I would kinda guess what he was going to say next, but think to myself, "No fuckin' way is he really going to say this" and then the words would come out of his mouth. I was floored. I should have started recording it. That's my bad. So, anyway, he goes on about his TRON plan for like 15 minutes and then paused and I pounced. I had to. I looked at him and just said, "Dude. You don't have a girlfriend, do you?" Do I even need to type his reply?

Wait! I don't have a girlfriend either. Fuck, this guy is way ahead of me in his TRON premiere plans. He's probably already in line and I don't even have lawn chairs or a tent or Jesus, I don't even have a bathroom plan. I can hear them already. "Oh, there's Ol' Hughge in the back of the TRON line. What a dork."

Oh, in addition to Robocop and Starship Troopers, Ice Pirates is six degrees of bad ass. The love theme from Ice Pirates would occasionally find its way through my guitar in live situations. Now, that my friend, is a passionate love scene I can get behind.