ChupaCabron

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First off, an apology for lack of graphical content. I just recently got a new laptop delivered and I am breaking an ass groove into it. Photoshop should be installed tonight or tomorrow and I can start making pictures again. Still need to replace my digi, though. It's a low priority compared to everything else. I only use it for dick-pic responses to Craigslist ads anyway.

So, I've time traveled slightly today and I am remaining an hour ahead of the present...mentally. Still seems far fetched, but this is how it works. I woke up at 5:00 this morning instead of 6:00 because I was having nightmares about exes and someone draining my mutual find via identity theft because I have left my personal effects strewn from one drunken debauchacle to another. I suppose that it is guilt manifesting itself in my subconscious. Whatevs.

So, I couldn't go back to sleep and just got ready for work and went and sat in a Starbucks reading "Vineland" by Thomas Pynchon until it was time to go to work. "Vineland" was in my bag that was stolen recently and I had to reorder it to finish the last 50 pages. It's really good and easier than Gravity's Rainbow, but still has a sliding narrative and suspect timelines, however, much easier than Steve Erickson when it comes to timelines.

Whoa, way off topic. Hold on...So, I got to work and made coffee for the floor and started working at 7:00. The time travel happened an hour ago when it felt like 10:30 and it was only 9:30. It just happened again because it felt like it was 11:30, but it's only 10:25. This time travel is pretty much going to suck at the end of the day when it feels like I'm doing an extra hour on the day. I'd leave early like the champion that I am, but I have a work softball game. It's hardcore beerleague like I have never seen before.

So, the reason I needed to blog this morning was because I hadn't in a while and because there were some things that sucked that I recently saw.

First thing that sucked was the fucking All-Star Game. Watching the All-Star game is like sleeping with a fat girl. You gotta be real drunk to enjoy it and if you are lucky you won't be able to remember it. I'm blaming the All-Star game for my not being able to go back to sleep this morning. Yes, there was an in-the-park home run and Eric Byrnes' bulldog was pretty funny, but everything is wiped out by Joe Buck. Can this man be stopped, PLEASE! He probably talks to himself and adds drama to the situation when he walks up to a urinal and unzips his pants for the first time that day. (In Joe Buck voice) The last time he walked up to a urinal to pee was the day before, but this time it's different as he goes for the 128th piss in 30 days. This is what makes Joe Buck, brought to you by Ford and Doritos, going the bathroom exciting. Sorry for the dramatization and I think you need to read that out loud in his voice to even get it. What a fuckin' sukkadick. I can't stand him.

Then there's Singing Bee vs. Fox's version of Singing Bee. Both of these shows should be on Nickelodeon after Double Dare on a Wednesday at 3:00 PM in 1982. This is not/was not prime-time material, but since You Pick a Suitcase and I Betch Yer Kid is Smarter Than You are getting people to watch them, who could really give a fuck anymore. It's just getting sad. It makes Wheel of Fortune look like a chess tournament.

I managed to rubberneck the first two minutes of Singing Bee with host, Joey Fat One. The Fat One from N'Sync. He would introduce the song like he was introducing advancements of technology in the Industrial Revolution, but instead what came out was "this song was a hit for Bananarama in 1982 and went like this..." Then the band would play one line and the contestants would have to finish the next line. The catch was that it had to be perfect. Like they are fucking Jeopardy questions.

One last thing is that the opening riff of "32 Pennies" by Warrant will take over your life and mentally scar you. I will be sitting in my car and start humming this opening riff all the time. It never leaves me alone like the image of the weird Black Eyed Pea guy. I think he is supposed to be the Indian. I dare you to try and listen to that intro and shake it. It can't be done. It's like that movie in The Ring, but instead of dying you just have to relive the riff over and over again. I guess that would go under the pro tip category or it may be a dare.

Anyway, work is calling and I need to put some links up there. Much more later.