2Dot0h

Ummm. So, I've got a huge bruise on my forearm from a disgruntled phlebotomist. Apparently, you should not comment on their sweatpants while you are cuffed to a bench at 2:00 AM. For instance, don't say "Nice sweatpants" before they take your blood. On the subject of the blood, I still don't know what my BAC level was the night of my arrest, but I think my attorney will find out when it is available. I'm also still trying to get scheduled for my mug shot and prints. Swear to god that if I get a copy, it's going up on my Facebook.

Anyway, I haven't drank since the arrest and have let certain parties that often throw a beer in front of me that I've stopped drinking for personal reasons and I'll let them know when I'm ready for them to throw free drinks in front of me again. It just makes it easier that way. I spent Friday night in a bar with my soccer team and drank a few waters and a strange thing happened being sober. Here are my reviews:

Attractive Jaeger Girl 1: "I'm about to leave, but I just wanted to let you know that you are one of the nicest and charming people that I've ever met."

New girl on soccer team (Overheard): "He (me) was really funny last time I met him, but a little obnoxious. This time he was still funny, but really personable and he remembered my name."

The other new girl on soccer team who is super hot in a being super smart way: "Jesus, dude. You are on fire."

So, Jaeger Girl 1 was just doing her job, but she actually did lock down with her other Jaeger friend where I was sitting with my team and they talked to me for like a half hour about whatever. One worked "in the motorcycle industry" and just moved here from Minnesota. I'm guessing she got pictures of her taken on top of them. The other was in school to become a therapist and started to dig a little deep into some areas after a few stories of debauchery and malcontent. She also had a kickball game the next morning. On their way out, they were nice enough to give shirts to the team, which I thought was a very nice gesture after they took offense to me turning down any of their tchotkes. I'd kinda be spectical of it if I was tipping them, but it seemed pretty genuine.

New girls on soccer team are good people and met me when I showed up shithoused to my team's game last week. I wasn't playing because I'm currently on the disabled list. The team, does however, like to get my keepersense input on what the other team is doing and what we need to do to win games, but I kind of let them down at this game when I showed up three sheets and just drew penises on the clipboard that we draw out plays on. I found it very entertaining at the time, but I was kind of a one man show that night with a one man fan in the audience. Anyway, new girls on soccer team seem to have preferred Jauge 2.0.

To be completely honest, I'm starting to prefer this version, too. Yeah, it's only been like four days and I won't believe I've changed until after at least a month, but so far the results are coming back pretty good. I might be into this. I'll admit, it gets kinda weird when the brain starts to spin a little fast and you want to stop it, but I've learned to channel that into productive endeavors or to just chill the fuck out and lay down and close my eyes and relax. Or, read a book. Or, eat licorice. Or, anything, really.