24 Hours x 3

Fuckin' A. In the last 72 hours, chronologically:
-my neighbor showed me two pics on his phone of a lady that he has been having sex with. One was bare boobies and the other one was her butt. He said she said that he could show it to his friends. Whah?!?!?!?
-I dropped the soap in the shower at the gym. It hit the ground, denting one side, and skipped out of the stall. Wet soap is slippery. Pro Tip. I had to reach out to get it and then stood back up, but the standing motion was interrupted by the shower handle smashing my head in. I briefly checked for blood, but had to settle for a lump that hurts any time my head drops below my hips. Don't ask why I am lowering my head below my hips.
-I dropped off my second to last divorce document. I am very close to being a free man. Finally, I can start dating again without legally cheating. I don't drink Cristal, but this may be an event that would be worth it. When I get my Office Depot Divorce certificate, it is going to be a nice day, indeed.
-I saw myself in dark socks and underwear and had the urge to take a picture because I was cracking myself up looking at myself.
-Shaved off a beard that I kind of liked Monday morning. It was really soft and nice. I looked mature.