Since Friday

Went to work Mardi Gras party at Noon on Friday and got back to the office at two. Looked at my computer and decided any shred of productive fire had been doused by two Coors Lights and two Coronas. I was also subtley aware of a new Gluten free beer from Anheuser-Busch. It's called Redbridge and is lumped in with their niche brands. They own everything. Here are some other brands that they make: Anheuser World Lager, which apparently is made here and imported to Europe, I guess. Drink the beer of the country you hate, Europeans. Bare Knuckle Stout is another brand, but I've never seen it. Rolling Rock is in there. Never heard of it. Bud Extra and ZiegenBock are the last two. Since the rediscovery of Lowenbrau, it may be time to seek out and find these wonderful brands, I'm sure. I have fallen in love with Budweiser Select, so I firmly pledge my allegiance to the WifeBeater flag when I'm not drinking Ketel and sodas with lime. So delicious.

Anyway, packed up my office and headed home, stopping to buy some of the aforementioned Budweiser Select, and played some FIFA '07 to get up to date with the current season. I'm playing as Arsenal in Manager mode and I'm averaging about 8 goals a game so I'm going to increase the difficulty level pretty soon to Semi-Pro because that's how I roll. Four beers later, I made plans to go downtown with a friend and hit some of the usuals realizing that if I had one beer, my car was having a slumber party with downtown, so I needed to make sure I didn't park in the Farmer's Market parking lot. A person will do that about once and never do it again. Talked to girls wearing barely anything and managed to offend two or three. One conversation that I'm rather proud of went like this:

Girl: Do you play soccer?
Me: Yes, why?
Girl: Well, you're wearing a soccer jersey. Did you play today?
Me: No, last Wednesday was my last game.
Girl: Are you playing later tonight?
Me: No. (At this point, I realize where she is going and scramble for a comeback.)
Me: Do you plan on having sex later tonight?
Girl: What?!
Me: 'Cuz you are dressed like a slut.
Girl: (Looks at my drinking partner) Your friend is cute, but he's an asshole.

We left after meeting some people from the O.C. (the place where the airport is, not the show) and discussed armband tattoos or something. I'm only pointing it out because I believe that's how one of them described themselves. It was vile.

Went to the English pub downtown and played five bucks of the best jukebox down there while drinking two pints of Boddington's and then grabbed a cab and called it a night.

I was tore up the next day so could not enjoy the beautiful day as I intended and had a search and rescue mission for my car. Organized for a ride and went to breakfast where my skillet with sausage and mushrooms was subbed out for sausage and onions. It was gross, but I got a chocolate milk with breakfast because I realized it had been like three years since I had had a glass of milk and for some reason when the waitress asked, chocolate milk came out. Not out of the waitress and not actual chocolate milk, but the word came out of my mouth to order it.

I went home and watched In the City on BBC America and loved it. It's my new The OC. I'm also realizing that I really want an English girlfriend now. I'll even eat weirdly named English candy and canned meats to get one.

Went to bed at nine and woke up too early on Sunday. Went out to my parents' house for a compilation birthday party for relatives, but I don't remember which one's were having birthdays and gave some old Star Wars toys, in their original packaging, to my nephew. I realized I did not need a lightsaber anymore...unless there was an earthquake and my flashlight was broken. Shit! I might have to go buy a new one now that I thought of that.

Anyway, I've got some Uncle Dean stories on that and a blood on the curb when I drove up story; it was good to see everyone. I'm kind of getting into being an Uncle myself now and don't want the kids to remember me as weird or drunk when they get older. I know why the caged bird sings. So, now I hold them and talk to them and help them out with stuff. We drink root beer together and can hang out now. Dean story and bloody lady story later. I'm seriously about to pee myself.

I'll finish this later. What a waste of a blog.