And on the Sixth Day

Sixth day without a cigarette. I've had to introduce a few habits to encourage the discarding of old habits. I heard somewhere that applause is a behavior that mimics the frame on something that is appreciated visually. Hand clapping and general lauding of all sorts is considered a type of sonic framing to something that is appreciated via a person's ears or through sound.

In my life, a day was framed by a smoke before bed. I would go sit in front of my apartment and process the things that had happened that day or the previous week or life in general and also consider all of the things that I was to do the next day. Also, more often than I'd like to admit, I start to dread trying to fall asleep and fear that I won't be able to which causes me not to be able to. Now, with the recent loss of my worldly possessions, I am also fearing that a young Malcolm McDowell and his Droogs are going to come in to my apartment, using my keys, in the middle of the night and beat the piss out of me while they take all of my things.

Anyway, I still have that nightly urge before I go to bed to signal the end of my day, but I instead read a book for about a half hour before I go to bed. I also play music really low and create white noise with my fan. It seems pretty elaborate, but it's working. The only other things that put me right out are fornicating for a long time late at night, drinking too much, or being hungover. Otherwise, I get a jolt of energy/stress at about 10:00 PM every night. This ritual seems to be doing the job of calming me down without promoting cancer. It's nice.

On the smoking and drinking subject, I'd be lying if I said I've quit smoking and drinking. Don't get confused. I haven't smoked, but I won't be able to say that I've quit until it's been about a month or something. I still crave, but it's just the brain sending impulses that the body is not following through with. It's like when someone says something stupid and your brain says to your hand "You better right that bitch, Donny" and you don't lash out and do anything. I still crave a drink and it hasn't even been a week, but I just have a nice, tall glass of water and let the urge subside.

The one problem, is that I've substituted smokes with snacking. I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of skinny with cancer or fat without cancer. It's seriously a toss up right now, but if I can manage to get to the gym and still quit smoking, I'd imagine this will get easier as time goes on. Plus, If I don't drink and don't smoke, I'm going to save a lot of money. A guesstimate would put it at $60 (3 packs a week for a month) + $240 ($60 tab, at least, per week for a month) = $300 a month. That is almost a car payment.

Oh! So the reason I started blogging was to warn people not to talk to themselves at the office. A co-worker is doing it today and it's totally creeping me out and is also very unattractive. Don't do it.