Here We Go Yo. Here We Go Yo.

My shorts are still M.I.A and now my shoes and socks from that night are missing. There are also obvious signs of forced entry in my apartment and on my face. There is, however, a silver lining. I haven't smoke in three days. I'm on my fourth. I also haven't drank in four days and don't plan on it for a while.

Since last Thursday, I've shut down two credit cards for the second time this year. I had to buy a new phone with no rebate or two year agreement and those fuckers get expensive without that. I also forgot my phone at home today, but at this point don't really care. I've had to get new keys for my office and now stress about someone coming into my apartment and taking everything and then taking my care because my driver's license with my address on it was lost with my keys. The thing that keeps me sane is I don't really have anything that anyone would want to take and I'm pretty sure I managed to lose my keys on my everything on my own.

I've been through a few scenarios.

Scenario #1: "Not My Scenario"
I got a ride home from the bar. Then, broke into my apartment through my window. Then, called a booty call in my apartment complex (no one in my complex talks to me). Hit it and then went home in my shirt and underwear. The booty call, then, is keeping my shorts and shoes and socks as a memento.

Probability? Pretty Low.

Scenario #2: "I've Done Something Like This Before"
I was in the bar singing karaoke and hit the sauce too hard. For some reason, in some song that I was karaokeing, found some reason to drop my drawers. Then, some dude gave me a ride home with no shorts on and no shoes. I then broke into my apartment without noticing my lack of shit and went to bed thinking everything was fine. I then find out that my shorts are gone the next morning. this places my shorts at the bar somewhere, however, I have gone back and non one has been much assistance. I also might add that I have not asked if they found any shorts and all the items are actually in the pockets of the shorts. I'm working up the nerve for that one.

Probability? Pretty High. I've done it before.

Scenario#3: "Logic No Longer Applies"
I would be lying if I said I have not considered a leprechaun on a unicornasus. Logic does not apply anymore. I've checked the fridge, microwave, dishwasher. I'm stumped.

Probability? Admittedly, pretty low, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Scenario#4: " A Mugging"
The cut on the face could be from some type of thug encounter...where they take your shorts, socks and shoes. That would be the weirdest gang ever. Also, they would have to hang out between my parking lot and my front door. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought of it.

Probability? Higher than the leprechaun on a winged unicorn.