Fifth Day

Well Guarded in Hobo Tags

I haven't smoked for four days. I'm on my fifth. Icanhaz some real cravings last night while I was watching Hell's Kitchen and actually got up twice to go have a smoke and realized that I don't smoke anymore. I've noticed that my hands smell really good. I'll actually believe that I quit if I can go two weeks, but this is the longest I have gone since I was 21 and didn't smoke.

I was getting the hard press on why I could not be a "boyfriend" last night to the point of an argument. This situation would normally make me smoke and I didn't. That's a point.

Is there something wrong with well-enough-alone? If you enjoy someone's company, do you really need the t-shirt with their picture on it that has "My Boo" airbrushed on it? Do people have a problem with just enjoying the moment? Do people have to always look down the road and determine if this person is going to be a good dad, have a strong mutual fund and a less enlarged prostate than his peers? That's right. I'm calling you out ladies? Dudes, do it, too. I'll give you that. I used to do it. I'm focusing on ladies because those are the only ones that have a direct effect on me. I get the down-the-roaders or the NSAers and that's it...I also get the married-with-kidders, but I never really bite on that. Got tricked once, but I won't fall for that crap again.

Here is the question I posed last night. I asked "If you knew this whole thing was going to blow up in our faces/your face two years down the road and you were going to despise me and hate me more than anything else in the world, however, you knew that during those two years(or two weeks) you were going to have a lot of fun, would you walk out on it?"

It's a question I sat on for about a year after I got unlegally divorced. I think the answer is no. If you know that the ship is going to go down, but it's going to be fun while it lasts, than fucking have fun and don't worry about the ship going down. Eventually, it will, in one form or another. So, the moral of the story is that if there is no risk in it, how can it possibly be fun? Or, if it doesn't hurt, you must not be trying.

Also, shorts are still missing. My money is now on the scenario where I karaoke something and drop my drawers, remove my shoes and socks and go home in my underwear with a Chico Heat jersey on. If I got a ride home from someone, it makes this scenario more likely. The only problem is that I feel like such an asshole that I won't even go back to the bar and ask if they have a pair of shorts and a pair of Adidas Gazelles around. It's called shame. I have asked if they found a set of keys or a wallet and they said no, but I haven't asked about the shorts. It comes out of my mouth like it's in Chinese. It feels incredibly awkward asking someone if they have seen your shorts in a bar.