A Confession

So, that's Hugh Voltage in Halo 3. He's a corporal grade 2 and is very aware that there is a war going on in the future...and it's being fought by 13 year olds.

I went home last evening after work and cracked a beer and started playing some Halo 3 again. It had been like a week and I had been playing some other games because my dreams were getting kind of disturbing and my hands would shake for a little bit afterwards. Totally healthy. Last night I dreamed that I had moved back in with my step-dad and that I witnessed a helicopter accident on the freeway. It was stressful enough to wake me up.

So, first couple games were mellow, I was learning the controller again and playing with no headset. I had forgot some of the maps and was just getting pwn3d on some of them. Occasionally, I would get carried by really good players.

Like five beers later, I'm still playing and I've got the headset on and I'm talking shit back. One kid is just ranting in Spanish, but myself and another guy are kinda catching some of the stuff he is saying. I think he said "Head Shot" in Spanish a bunch. Then, these two twelve year olds were just yelling about pwnag3 and dominating the game. Finally, this four man team had screen names of "Douchiest," "Less Douchie,""Douchie," and "More Douchy." They then whipped our ass in about three minutes. They were douchie.

One dude started talking shit directly to me and I told him that he is fat, pimply and can't do one sit up in real-life and to enjoy his alternate life in an imaginary universe. He, then, got all quiet and just replied "Dude, it's all I do." It felt like an intervention and I felt kinda bad.

Then, I accepted a team invite from afro man jkls and this other guy. Afro Man is hecka good. He is also 13. The conversation went like this:

"How old are you HughVoltage?"

"Dude, I'm an old man. I'm 32."

He replied "I'm 13."

Then, the other guy goes "Don't worry about it, dude. I'm 40. You've got a dude coming up behind you."

I'll admit it was reassuring to know that there were older guys playing than me. I'll also admit that it was way more cost efficient than spending the evening at a drinking establishment. I just don't know why I never get good.

Dude, I look kind of bad ass in that picture. I could see how people could get lost in their Halo dude.