Hey Phucker

Okay. Here's a follow-up. I looked at the e-mail that I got from HP after two days of trying to contact a human being.

There was a ton of idealism in college about how to conduct business, but some of it rang true if not made a good rule to bend slightly when conducting commerce i.e. making the world go round. This is ridiculous, though. Look how personal this e-mail is:

"Dear Customer, (Customer. That's like writing dear HR Manager when submitting a resume. It's just faking it. If it's going to fall flat like that and shout that it's a form letter just don't even try.)

Thank you for your order from Hewlett-Packard. This is your delivery receipt. Please keep it for your records. Should you need help, please contact customer service (There is no such thing. HP customer support without a support contract is an urban legend) of the Hewlett-Packard store from which you purchased, by following the "contact hp" link from the home page. You don't buy the product that I bought at the store. Maybe should have stuck with a more general form letter that just said 'You, thanks.-HP Peace Out.'

As always, your interest and continued use of Hewlett-Packard products are greatly appreciated. We look forward to serving your needs in the future. I don't think HP has any interest in serving me in the future and they will still probably get the sale. It feels like sleeping with an ex. I'm going to feel dirty and of low self-esteem when I buy this product. I will feel like a man of no discipline and morals. I'll feel professionally whorish making this purchase.

Sincerely,

Hewlett-Packard Company (There is nothing sincere about signing a letter like that. It's like getting a note from your car on a post-it. 'Hey Hugh. I need a car wash. Sincerely, a Honda Civic Automobile.)"

So, I'm going to recommend that Hewlett-Packard Company go to Borders Bookselling Company and purchase a book in the Business section about customer-centric business practices. God knows there are a ton of those kinds of books. Instead of illegally listening to their board members phone calls a few years back, they really should have focused on listening to their customers. This was a shoo-win sale, but I'm going to look for something open source or a competitor. This is ridiculous.

Sincerely,
Hugh Voltage Blogging Organism