I Fought The Law...Once

I need to preface this by saying that I swear to fucking god that this true.

I was responding to a last minute request from my boss and thanklessly smashing away at my laptop keyboard when Neighbor Kid came up to tell me that his Razor Scooter and his pogo stick had both been stolen and that a special guest was coming to investigate it. He was super excited and I wondered what the fuck he was talking about. My mind wandered for a little bit and I came to the conclusion that it was probably a cop.

Now, seriously, cops investigating pogo stick theft seems like a page out my insane mind when I let it wander, but not anything that could be real like as in "Real Life." So, I return to smashing my keyboard diligently and see that oh so recently familiar badge twinkle out of the corner of my eye.

I look out the fucking window and it's one of the cops that arrested me for my DUI.

So, Neighbor Kid came and got me for some reason and I took a couple of steps out of my apartment and the guy looked at me and goes, "You look familiar."

I put out my hand to give him a courteous handshake and said, "Yeah, you arrested me for a DUI. How are you doing?"

He goes "Oh, man. You were the nicest DUI arrest I have ever done. I'm sorry about that."

I replied "No problem. It's got to be a lot more exciting than Grand Theft Pogo, right?"

I still can't believe that it was one of the dudes that arrested me. Thank god I wasn't out in front of my apartment showing the kids how to shotgun their juice boxes. Not that I've ever done that, but an apple juice bong has flashed across the back of my brain at small childrens' birthday parties.

So, I guess it's good that I got to see him the week before my hearing as I opted for representation and will not be attending it. If all goes well, I'll be growing a moustache and going on the lam soon.

Interesting DUI fact: I can't go to Canada for three years while I will most likely be on probation for a misdemeanor. Go Team Irresponsibility!