Let's Make a Dealbreaker

Dealbreakers are mysterious and can happen as two people interact with each other in the early stages of building any type of relationship whether it be a new friendship, business associate, teammate, whatever. As the relationship building blocks lay a foundation, they become less of a problem, but there are still isolated instances where they occur late in a relationship and sometimes even too late. For instance, when you catch your husband in the bathroom with a jumbo tube of toothpaste, a strap-on, a penguin and the world's largest ketchup packet. If that happens to you, just grab a suitcase and leave immediately.

Now, let me clarify that a dissimilarity or disagreement on an issue, flavor, book, movie, musician, etc. just shows that the other individual has free thought and to roll over and agree just to avoid confrontation or because of a fear of dealbreaking is a weakness and unattractive. I have some really good relationships with some really good debaters and you would think that we hate each other, but I think we enjoy the way we challenge each other and there is definitely shared respect between us. On the other hand, I cannot even justify any type of conversation with the unintelligent. It pisses me off. Also, stay way from politics and god in any type of drinking establishment or drinking situation. Pro tip.

How can one expect someone to like ALL of the same things and agree on everything without the dispensing of some sort of paycheck or without being fucking Elvis? Everyone agreed with Elvis. So without further ado, here are some personal dealbreakers.

-Bad Hair
-Pot Smoker
-Butterfaiths (She's cute, but her faith)
-Non-Independent people
-Weak willed (Must fight back)
-Silver Dollar Nipples
-Wears overalls and baseball cap a lot
-Anything taller than me makes me feel like they should hold me
-Lack of wit or intelligence
-There's others, but I can't think of them

To be fair, here's my dealbreakers
-I watch Battlestar Galactica and spend my Saturday mornings drinking coffee and watching soccer
-I hate Jack Johnson
-I'm obesist
-I'm stubborn and opinionated
-Sometimes I need a tug on my choke chain or I will run with it
-I don't vacuum enough
-I have an unhealthy addiction to doing laundry (because I watch porn when I fold)
-I like some really horrible and inaccessible music
-I say some things without thinking about how they will affect the listener
-I play soccer a lot
-I don't like the movie Gladiator because of a lack of story and gay overtones (hoping that's not really significant)
-I've got a checkered past, however I'm currently running from it as much as possible

The whole idea behind this is that some stuff is ingrained and a part of a person's personality and also represents something much deeper. That is a lot different than a person's interests and opinions. Yeah, if I hung out with someone who thought Dick Cheney was awesome and Burt Reynolds wasn't, we might have a problem, but that's a pretty extreme example. So, you like Dave Matthews Band, James Blunt and A Date with Tad Hamilton. No problem. I like Gummo, Ween and Iron Maiden. It's called peanut butter and chocolate. Peanut butter and peanut butter just isn't as interesting.