Whuddadik?

Just to prove to myself that I was still relevant, I got the untouchable bartender's number last night. And her last name. I saw it in my phone today. I'm still too distracted by the last girl to possibly have any connection with her, but she's stupid hot. I was in trainwreck mode and still pulled it off, which proves that I can do it on autopilot. Autopilot is going to be the main mode from here on out. I don't want to be with her, I want to be with someone else, but if I can take her away from everyone else, I win. It's the difference between an emotional connection and a physical connection. Also, I'm a dick at heart.

I'm naive and stupid thinking that the last girl was the be all end all. I've had the be all end all a couple of times and survived, but goddammit this last one was awesome. She made me laugh. She made me feel. And, I could see it in her eyes that she adored me, but in the end, none of it was enough. Trying to let go and face the music, but it's just very bitter medicine.

On a medicinal note, I went to what used to be Long's yesterday because they called and told me I had a prescription to pick up. I wasn't aware of one, so I showed up and bought it out of curiosity. The warning on the bottle said "Consult a physician if you experience fear or anxiety." Yeah, dude, I'll skip that. After further inspection, I figured out it was Welbutrin. Apparently, I'm still on it. I gave the last bottle to my rapy neighbor after he cried into a vodka gimlet at 7:00 AM. My therapist asked me not to take it as I was making progress being in touch with my feelings. That worked out fuckin' well. He told me I was ready to have an adult relationship and that just fucking blew up in my face. I was so much better when I was unavailable and inintimate. Regardless, I'm debating on giving the bottle to my neighbor to keep him less rapy, but that's just starting a vicious cycle where I carry a prescription for him. Oh, shit. He never gave me back my ice tray that I loaned him. Whuddadik?