6 weeks

Since the last post, I found out that my wife flew down to San Diego to spend the weekend with a guy that she met in Vegas on my 30th birthday. Classy, I know, but at least it made filing for divorce a pretty easy decision to make. It's relatively easy when there are no kids, house or cool shit involved. It's pretty much a done deal at this point. The apartment is almost cleared out. She has a new place. I have a new place. I have no furniture or accoutrements besides the bed, the stereo and the computers. Such a divorcee, all I need is a leather couch and a waterbed and I'll be set. Maybe add a framed Nagel above the couch.

The good news is that I have quit drinking and did end up going to AA after a slight relapse about three weeks ago. My first meeting was actually a Homeless Veterans Rehab Program that I accidentally walked into, but I have since found a real meeting and also recovered from being a homeless veteran. Really good people. It's actually a really good move and since then my mind has been a flutter as all my mental energy is redistributed to other parts of the brain. This actually might be a really good move, even if it wasn't willful on my part. My guitars are looking really attractive again, that's a good thing. It has really put into perspective how much of my energy was being put into being married and not being put into myself. I was called a self-absorbed alchoholic, but looking back with a clear head, it turns out I was suppressing most of my creative energy and using it to maintain a relationship with someone who didn't want it anyway. No hard feelings, though, shit happens that you really have no control over and the best thing to do is adapt.

Also, went to the doctor to see if there was damage being done due to my rapid weight loss. I lost 30 pounds to date. The doctor told me I should be happy about it because I am at my optimum weight for my height. The down side is I don't fit into my clothes anymore. It looks like I am playing dress up in my dad's clothes and I am 10. Never really did that, though. Swear. My doctor also commented that I am very marketable. So, I've got that going for me.

In addition, I've been hitting some therapy to deal with whatever else is going on with me. It's good, for now. It's been recommended that I take some Zoloft, but I refuse to at this point. If I need to medicate, I think I would just go back to drinking. It's a lot more fun.

I'm going to try to update the blog more and make it more useful. At this point, it is extremely narcissistic, but a great communication tool for the family. So for now, I will just recommend that people Listen to Ted Leo and The Pharmicists, Look at paintings by Tim Biskup , Drink tons of Pellegrino, Eat Balance Bars instead of lunch, Smell asphalt after it rains, and enjoy the way a nice hot shower feels in the morning. Meanwhile, I will be taking it one day at a time.