Urgerrifuk

Had my first real urge to drink when I got my cell phone bill this month. The ex was supposed to split off the account and then do everything she needed to do. Well, the bill was over $400 and billed to me. It consisted of like 400 overage minutes to San Diego for her to call her emotional crutch. Was unhappy about that. Got home was a little shaky, thought about it. It wasn't like the DTs, I was just emotionally wore out and according to my doctor, I use alcohol to cure my problems. Finally, came to the realization that there was no reason to worry about it, we're over so it's none of my business nor concern and that drinking would not solve the problem it would only make it worse. Still, a rough couple of days since Wednesday. Waking up at 5:00 AM again, too.

On a good note, my little sister graduated high school yesterday, so my friend and I went to our alma mater's graduation 12 years later. It was long and boring and it rained, but it stirred up a lot of memories. Particularly, the fact that when we graduated I was Senior Class Vice President (ran as a joke and won on accident) and instead of a speech they asked me to say the pledge of allegiance. I left out the "under god" part and then said "fuck" into the microphone. Mom was proud. Was good to be with family yesterday.

Today has been a'ight, but therapy was emotionally draining, yet also productive. Sobriety makes every thought and action complicated, so I am debating taking a small emotional vacation, but realize it may have an adverse affect on certain individuals in my life right now, including myself. Kind of confused right now. To be or not to be a hermit.

In the meantime, made it past the urge. Figthing co-dependence and eating when I am hungry. Good times. On my fifth week of sobriety. It's weird. Soon, this blog will get readable and useful.

Reviews:
New Foo Fighters - Disc 1 = Tight
New Foo Fighters - Disc 2 = Slow
Batman Begins on Xbox = Good
Apples = Still great after all these years
Notebook on DVD = No way. Won't watch it.
Diet Coke = Delicious
Hell's Kitchen = Could be great. Jury's out.
Jews for Jeter Shirts = Awesome