Intertubes of the Supermation InforHighway (AntiSocial Networking)

So, you may be one of those people who is like "Hey, look I bought a new plasma and I saved $50 and got a Best Buy giftcard for $10 and a coupon for 20% off Hannah Montana Crocs" rather than say "Hey, I just blew $7500 on a fucking TV." That would make you a glass half full person. I applaud you, but the glass is still half empty no matter how bad you deluse yourself in your own thoughts.

"Hugh, why do you bring it up?" you say.

Good question. I'm glad you asked. Well, social networking is becoming a big part of everyone's lives from ages six to sixty. There are the LinkedIns, The Myspaces, The facebooks, etc... People are twittering, doing status updates to let anyone in their social networking group know exactly what they are doing at all times. Now, is it a form of bragging or just simply information? Well, that's kind of the question, isn't it? Regardless, it's all very Two-Dot-Oh. (GF, seriously, this is the point where I was at when you sent that link.)

I mean it makes sense if someone goes missing. You can then check their status and be like "Oh, SoandSo was hating working an hour of overtime when they would rather be drinking your milkshake." Or, in the event of my own, you would be like "Oh, Hugh has been missing for a week because he was checksually stimulated even though it's horrible for the National economy." So, I guess there is Two-Dot-Value to it in the event that someone goes missing and you need a clue trail, but I'm not completely sold on it yet.

What I am sold on, came to me at about 2:34 AM last night. I'm not sure what woke me up, but in a late night text I half accused a personal ghost and then I was so tired I thought of how fucked up it would be if you did have a ghost and you were single and by yourself in your apartment. I mean, fuck!, like if you couldn't nuzzle in the crook of someone sleeping next to you when you thought there was a ghost in your room, it would just suck. This same train of thought lead to me tossing and turning until 5:30 AM when I just gave up and got up and walked around my apartment in my underwear aimlessly until I decided to take a shower and go to the dentist to get my toof fixed.

So, the idea was a version of a social network that could give a fuck less about what you like and focus on what you don't like. Instead of friends, you would add people that you didn't care for. Dick Cheney, Jack Johnson, Alan Alda, Mattew Modine, etc... You could add things that you aren't interested in, things that you are afraid of (clowns and bears and longterm relationships), foods that you don't like, sex acts that you try and avoid (choking), bands you hate, arch enemies, things that you would like to see burn, stuff you would like to see drown, things you wish never existed, books that you wouldn't wipe your ass with, take out food that you wouldn't feed a dog, smells that you dislike (microwave popcorn and microwaved fish), currencies that you find unfavorable and anything else like that.

Fuck half full and how many friends you have and what books you are reading and how compatible you are and songs you like and movies you like and things about you and your interests and what you are looking for and where you have been and what you are doing.

I want to see the other side. I want to know what things to avoid doing around you because they bug you. I want to know things that you don't want to talk about so that I don't talk about them. I want to get to know the darkness, hate and rage that lives inside you. I want to know things that you would like to destroy. I want to know that you hate me. I want to know that you want to burn the Osmonds, that you want to drown Ryan Seacrest and that you want to kick Miley Cyrus in the throat.

It's okay. Get it out there. You will feel much better once you have aired your dirty laundry. We all have it. We all have malice. We all get jealous. We all secretly wish bad things on others. We are all selfish children at our very cores and it's totally all right as long as you don't act on it. Instead, air it out. Put it out there and leave it to die in the Intertubes of the Supermation InforHighway.

So, there it is another million dollar idea from the HughVoltage think tank. Gotta go play GTA IV now. Totally gay for it.