Outgoing and Then Some.

I seriously just put this on my outgoing voicemail greeting and it's making me laugh way too hard. I had to listen to it again. The work people that call it might get freaked out a little bit.

"Hello. You've reached HughCentral.

All of our operators are currently busy with superimportant stuff and only two of them think your call is important to us.

If you are awesome, press 1

If you might be awesome, press 2

If you would like to learn the art of awesomenacity, stand on one leg and imagine you are a tomato with bat wings and press 3.

If you just did that you probably look hella dumb."

Really, I was proud of myself like a 12 year old next to the shitty mug he made in ceramics class for his mom. Maybe I'm less complex than I previously thought.