This Is Good To Know

Pro tip. Do not shoot kids with BB guns. I have to admit that as of late, I've been debating it as this small child army seems to be developing in front of my apartment. I came home once and one of them was waiting on my porch for my neighbor's kid to get home. He sat out there for like an hour and I felt trapped in my apartment by a ten year old.

I mean, they have their moments of brilliance with their varieties of "Why?"s that they are capable of asking. My favorite has been when the neighbor kid said "Why are you wearing glasses?" and I replied, "Trav, why are you wearing pants?" Yeah, I'm stooping to their level, but it felt better than saying that I'm wearing glasses to read the map on GTA IV. I wear glasses only to drive at night and play video games. I am a loser.

One time, the porch kid asked me if he could try my cigarette and I had to go into the anti-smoking lecture while I puffed away and drank a beer. I'd feel bad about my hypocrisy if it wasn't the keystone that holds our cultural architecture together.

So, going to switch to the Super Soaker as child repellent at the apartment and avoid the felony assault charges and $50,000 bail. That is one of the things that you think about, but never do. Shame on you San Bruno guy with a BB gun.