The War At Home

First, the TV show War At Home is a crappy, rehash of Married With Children that promotes negative parenting and shows no redeeming qualities related to a family dynamic.

Second, this is disgusting, but I think I may have caught something from a girl who used to be at the house a lot. She had a dog like Little Orphan Annie and her dog may have had fleas because I just found my third one in three days. It makes me absolutely paranoid and freaked out, too. So, I have to napalm my apartment on Saturday or I am going to end up just throwing everything out and starting from scratch. I find myself vaccuuming everyday like I'm on diet pills and constantly scouring for another flea.

I'm thirty one and had a good run, so it's not the first time I caught something from a girl. It's how I met my ex-wife, kinda. Actually, not kinda, and it was probably a pretty good indicator of what was to come, but love is dumb if not blind. Those days are behind me, though, so now that I've grown a tiny bit more responsible, I'm still dealing with catching stuff from girls, however, now it is fleas. Also, a prescription of antibiotics is way easier than powders and bombs to eradicate something. A funny related story is when I thought I had something really horrible and went to the health center at the college and had to put my penis in some woman's hand to be told that it was Dickne.

Starts with cooties and ends with fleas. It's the circle of the social life. Meeting people is easy, but it takes a 24 hour period to kill the fleas.

Worst case scenario is that I have fleas which is totally plausible because of the beard which was nearly shaved this morning because it is horrid or horridle, if you will.