A Loss For Words

Can't think of anything to write about, so I'm just going to document what my iPod pulls up on shuffle so people can see how insane it is.

1. You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb (alternate version) - Spoon
This is cool. I had never sat and listened to it. It's essentially the same as the original with way more reverb on the lead vocal and a loooooooooooooooooot of clapping and foot stamping. Think high school rally "We Are the Champions" foot stomp clappy. I can't say enough about Spoon. I first heard them on Gimme Fiction and thought they were good, but had no idea how good until I explored their back catalog and then Gax5 came out and it was done. Easily at least in the top 5 of all albums that year. Just a solid fuckin' album

2. 200,000 (in counterfeit 50 Dollar Bills) - Citizen Cope
CC is cool, but it gets a little bit repetitive. It's kind of hit or miss. All of his songs tell stories about individuals with bad luck it seems. Painting pictures of Inner City Blues as it is like a polished and less angry Gil Scott-heron.

3. Lovin' Money (Outtake) - Cheap Trick
I sit and ponder on barstools with strangers sometimes and am yet to find the modern equivalent of Cheap Trick. Would it be a Maroon 5 or something? Regardless, very little in personnel changes and consistency in music. I think I've slow danced to "Flame" off of their comeback album. The song still makes me sad a little. Anyway, Damone and me love Cheap Trick. This song kinda drags, but it's off the padded outtake/alternate enhanced debut Cheap Trick album. Cheap Tricks first three albums are beyond fuckin' solid. You've been warned.

4. Today - Zero 7
Straight up. This is music to make love to a lady by. I've also used it when a particular girl was going ape shit crazy drunk and had to put her down on the first night that I went out with her. I had to get her to my bed and put Zero 7 on and rub her back to get her to fall asleep while I slept on the couch. Never penetrate on the first date. That's a rule to live by. It always sets a bad precedent if you do that. Ummm. Thumb in the butt? You might want to wait until fifth date. A romantic choke usually takes place...Dude, whatever. This one chick choked me on the first date I think. I didn't know what was going on and thought I was going to be choked out and robbed. then there was the girl that put processed cheese over each of her breasts and asked me if I wanted a piece of cheese. That was the most awkward post-coital moment of my life I think.

5. I know What I Like - Huey Lewis
I wish I could do the Patrick Bateman Huey Lewis speech right here. Anyway, this song is off the Fore! album. Huey was telling his fans "Fore!" meaning watch out for some mellow rocking music bouncing off your dome. I got to meet Huey Lewis when I was like 8 years old. He played at Cal-Expo in Sacramento and The Hooters opened. I remember sitting there just waiting for Huey to come out and soft rock me. My neighbors dad had a Levi's hookup and as Levi's sponsored Huey Lewis we got backstage without putting a dick in our mouths. Seriously, I think HL has a Levi's jean jacket on on every one of his albums. Or, at least is wearing Levi's. I wonder how hard it would be to bring back black denim Levi's jackets. I bet I could do it.

6. Applied Science - 311
This is off of the last good 311 album. This wasn't as good as Music, but was still pretty cool. Then, the blue album came out and they got fratdick huge and it was over. I actually went and saw them at the LA Greek on that tour and scammed my way to the third line of walkie-talkies using Pixie Sticks and Star Wars Pez dispensers to get on the drummer's guest list and get a backstage pass. Again, without putting a dick in my mouth. It can be done. My friend and I ended up in the crowd where a chick on E mauled me and shared red wine with me. The night ended with me calling out Chad, the drummer, for selling out. He agreed and told me that he loved his new house and planned on making another album just like the last one. He had no qualms with it. You've got to respect that at least. He's not like Avril Lavigne and claiming that he is hard or anything.

7. Ella - M. Ward
Been listening to a lot of M. Ward lately. He's part of the Bright Eyes, Jim James collective and is actually a compelling songwriter. It's a bit abrasive at first, but once you get acclimated, it's great. This song is cool. It's off of End of Amnesia. This shit is going to be great in the summertime to just sit outside with a sandwich and let the sun hit your face while laying on a big patch of grass. Holy shit. This hot girl the other night actually said to me "I love sandwiches." I thought it was some kind of S&M safeword for a second. That actually would be a pretty good one.

8. Beats To The Rhyme - Run DMC
You cannot fuck with Run DMC. They were the Zeppelin of the genre. I'm not going to even say they invented it. I will never throw my hat in the hip-hop discussion ring, however, they left their mark on American pop culture and gave America it's second music after Jazz/Blues. My question is why does Daryl Mack never hang out at Run's House on that show? I thought they would just be hanging out and spittin' rhymes all the time. Dude, where the hell is DMC?

9. Fiesta - Ween
Short. Sweet. To the point. There is the weirdest panning at the beginning of this song. It actually pans 100% to the left or the right at one point. It has to be some kind of inside joke, but on headphones it almost knocks me out of my chair. Listening to a Ween album for the first time when it comes out is like walking in a dark cave that might be full of bears or snakes or gum, but you don't know which.

10. Electricity - The Avalanches
This album is ripshit. Everyone needs this album.

11. Little Weapon - Lupe Fiasco
Just started getting into Lupe. I've been meaning to, but didn't get around to it for awhile.He's fucking good. The beats are legit and he's got flow. Plus, he used to skate. He'll rap about it sometimes. The snare on this song is tight as fuck. It's totally drum corp. Drumline for those of you that aren't familiar with drum corp. Lupe and Kanye and the lot are bringing back that Tribe vibe of positivity. It's good. The guns, bitches and weed shit was just getting old.

12. Sole Food - New Legends
This was the super group in my eyes in 1995. This is off of the Cookin' series put out by Ubiquity Records out of San Francisco. In 1995, you could buy any album on this label with confidence that it was going to be awesome. This was Slide 5 and Skerik and it was sick. I actually got to see them play once. They were better than you and I. Far better. This song has the dopest groove and the best sounding snare ever. Then, Skerik just tears it up. This music always seems dated to me, but every once in a while it's just perfect. I miss watching this shit live immensely, though. It was so chill to drink a PBR at the Elbo Room and watch this stuff at the age of 20 for a $3 cover on a Wednesday night. This is whist.

13. Cupid's Trick - Elliot Smith
This list is getting elitist. This shuffle is working out. I get so conflicted when I listen to Elliot Smith. This is genuinely dark, sad music. The guy just bleeds pain into your ears in a good way. You kind of need to throw New Pornographers on after you listen to an album of this, but you have to admit that sometimes it feels so fucking good to feel this bad. If you are ever in the bath tub with Elliot Smith playing and a candle burning remove yourself from the bath tub immediately and watch Caddyshack or something. It indicates that you are taking life far too seriously.

14. Letter to the East Coast - John Vanderslice
This is actually the Scott Solter remix from the Pixel Revolt remixes. Seriously, some of these sound nothing like the originals enough that they could have just called it something else. It's cool, though. Most of them are super airy and wide sounding. It could be a guy just fucking around on a mixing board. There is a time and place for this album, though. You could listen to it while you play Scrabble against yourself on a rainy night with the taste of grilled cheese sandwich burps on your breath. I'm not saying I've ever done it, but you could.

15. Pollo Asado - Ween
I didn't even know that this was one of my favorite Ween songs for like five years. It's off of All Request Live which makes it even more brilliant that they are doing the song live and keeping a straight face. It's essentially just a giant taqueria order with some horrible math for the change given. They actually start to laugh a bit at the end and name drop machaco beef. Seriously, listen to this song and try to compute your own change. And, yes, I would like a basket of chips and a beef chimi...you dickface, motherfucker.

16. I'm Always in Love - Wilco
Ooooh. Summer Teeth Wilco. The Uncle Tupelo/Son Volt/Wilco controversy is one of the coolest alt-country soap operas you could ever read about. I have to admit that I kind of picked the Wilco side and once they added Nels Cline, I was sold. If you can find it, find the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot demos that Warner Bros. turned down. It's great. This song is straight ahead Wilco. This album and Being There both are that old school Wilco sound before they got superawesome. It's like early Beatles and post-Revolver Beatles. You respect the original, but the new shit just eclipses it.

17. A Sort of Homecoming - U2
Old U2 is so cool sometimes. I respect their reinvention as well as staying power. Not a lot of bands can do that anymore. They are like a band version of Madonna. Plus, they seem like they would be very nice and caring individuals who have very good intentions. Not the rock stars that you would want to party with, but definitely rock stars you would want to sit around on a camping trip and bang on guitars with. Listening to Unforgettable Fire era U2 kind of makes me think that they've pulled a Radiohead move with the way they have grown as a band. The echo on the guitar does get a little bit schticky at some point, but The Edge has his thing. That's his thing. It's kind of like Isaac Hayes' thing is sweating and Scientolo...Not going to get into that search stream. What a beautiful pissing match over nothing that is.

18. Barael's Blade - The Sword
Two words: FUCKING METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Dude, "Slayer of the Spider Priests."
Behold the Bastard's blade, indeed.

19. Hi-Fi - M. Ward
Notice that the shuffle is picking favorites? M. Ward and Ween are now caught in some kind of algorithm and it is favoring these artists. I had a conspiracy theory that bands that had a new album coming out would come up more on the shuffle as some sort of stealthy marketing, but have yet to prove it. Transistor Radio by M. Ward is an album you should own. Like if I was at your house and we just got done doing it and I got up to go to the bathroom and kind of slowed down to check out your CDs and you had this album I would be impressed. Also, if you were a guy and this was happening, I would probably need to call my mom and tell her that I enjoy rollerblading now. Two ways to see if you are compatible with someone: 1)Order Chinese take out and if you like what they ordered, you are good 2)Trade iPods for a week and listen to each others strictly on shuffle. Those two things are like compatibility barometers for me. They are like reading tea leaves.

20. This Is Much More Than Your Gold Chain - Reanimator
If you can find "Music To Slit Wrists By" buy it. This took me forever to find. It's probably on iTunes now actually. This is the coolest music to listen to while you lay in bed and talk to a half naked girl about how dumb life can be and laugh your ass off. It's just really cool ambient stuff. This song on a loop could be the coolest bike ride music ever. On headphones it third persons you and makes you feel like you are outside of the situation you are in. It's kind of out of body at times. Whatever. I sound like a fuckin' hippy. I should go eat some hummus falafels.

21. It Could Be You - Def Leppard
Old Def Leppard is sick. Two arms. Anything pre-Mutt Lange is so much different. As soon as he got involved, they could wipe their asses with money, but it just sounded so produced.

22. Brand New Vandals - Rob Sonic
I'm an asshole for not going to Aesop Rock and Rob Sonic. An asshole. Seriously.

23. Stomp - Young Buck (Ratatat Remixes Vol.2)
If you don't own this album, you are lacking in elite hipsterness. Especially since it's free. This is the shit.

Back to work...